Amusing GURPS Fantasy Anecdote

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David Johansen

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May 4, 2017
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I've been running a bit of 100 point GURPS fantasy on and off just depending who's in the shop. The ADHD is strong in this group and we've run Alien, Blade Runner, T5, GURPS Fantasy, and D&D in the last couple weeks.

Anyhow, the free floating GURPS fantasy game I'm running is set in a trade town on a long, east - west road in the desert. An oasis controlled by the temple of the priests of the fountain is the only water available for days and their prices are steep. Anyhow, it's a bazaar around a fortified temple and a great deal of wealth passes up and down the road. Thus far I've got a dwarf smith, a troll, a cat folk, a farmer, a kensai, a paladin, and a couple mages running around. One night the ground shakes and horns are heard braying in the night. The next morning an orc legion marches into town headed by a mounted, human, captain in black plate armour. He proclaims that the legion has come to secure the road and make the city safe for trade and tolls and taxes will help to pay for the legion's services but things will be better for everyone. The legion will build a fortified camp outside of the town.

There's a few small fights as player characters try to make themselves matter in the epic sweep of things. The troll PC decides to join the legion. The captain directs and orc to take him to the task master who directs him to carry away rocks and earth broken up by the legions six other trolls who are digging the ditch that will surround the camp as they didn't bring extra mattocks. The trolls hassle him a bit but not too much because he's very big. But at the end of the night, as they eat their slop and hunker down under the leanto tarp they share their plan to escape into the desert and find some properly shady mountains.

"Crazy be out here in dry sun lands, gonna, sneak away during day, grab food from town and go away . So, despite their new companion's misgivings, they pull up stakes (literally) and run for the town under the shady tarp, trampling the overseer like a clump of grass. The pc troll follows reluctantly, not wanting to be out in the hot sun or held responsible. Coming to the outskirts of the town they spy a colorful tent with a painted sign of a naked woman over the door. "Hey look! takeout!" grunts the lead troll. They burst into the tent, startling the ladies working there, one tries to escape under the edge of the tent but is grabbed by the leg and dragged back in. Then a short argument breaks out over cooking or not but the lead troll bawls, "can't cook, gotta eat and run, army coming, change tents to confuse them. So the trolls pull up stakes again and head off into the desert with the colorful tent and the ladies of the evening thrown over their shoulders or hooked under their arms. The pc troll opts to stay behind and wait for the hastily assembled sortie of horsemen with only their swords and helmets, the legion's captain sighs, "they've got no water, they'll be back in a day or so but in the meantime this will slow our siege of the temple and we need that water or we'll die out here." So they seize the stage from the theatre tent to use as a pavis and give the pc troll a mattock to bash the gate down.

Anyhow, I thought the trolls running around carrying a tent was pretty funny.
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