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Silverlion

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Between 2000 and 2004 I had an ongoing relationship with a woman named A. She had come out and told me she loved me (right after I had a bad breakup.)
I told her that a friend was not the same, but she made it clear she meant "more than a friend."

We were together for four years. She lost her job after 9/11 and due to immigration laws where I was (and not being a citizen of the country) without her support financially, I was forced to leave (or be there majorly illegally.) I told her this because I'd read all the immigration paperwork. I told her I didn't want to be without her, and we discussed her staying and me leaving or her coming with me to my home country.

She chose to come with me back to the U.S. I'd asked her to marry me and she had said yes. While I was trying to find a job, make money, and start immigration for her.
She began an emotional affair online. I don't know when it started, but finally, I managed to speak to the pastor that I wanted to marry us, while I was looking for another job (after losing one.) I was depressed and not functioning well, and that's when the emotional affair came out, and I was devastated and barely functional. During this time she continued to push for sex and physical affection and told me "she was only leaving for a little while." Though someone anonymously
dropped more information in my email about the affair, and her feelings and I withdrew and attempted suicide. I wrote no note.

I told no one.

I just wanted the pain to stop.
So two people I'd met on IRC (tied to a certain, other forum) at the time bought her a bus ticket to leave. She still pushed for physical sex but at this point, I didn't want it or feel comfortable with it. I've only had such interactions with someone I loved, and who loved me (as far as I knew) and the circumstances continued to degrade, she caught me trying to cut myself and panicked.

It did not stop her from leaving, and it was not an attempt to keep her with me. I didn't leave any note or tell anyone and straight-up lied about why I was locking myself in my bathroom. (I have ongoing intestinal issues that hot bath/heating pad can help alleviate, it's now medicated and doing better.)

Finally, she left.

While I was in and out of the hospital she was spreading stories to people I thought were friends telling them apparently I'd done horrible things. If you are unfamiliar with it look up DARVO online.

Several of my internet friends stayed by me, and one I know of told her off, knowing I would never do such things. The lies she spread continued and are still ongoing today. Now, allegedly, I also hit on every woman I've played RPGs with online. (Which is factually untrue, I do not hit on women I game with, it's a rule I've had many years.)

I've slowly recovered and reclaimed my life.

I was briefly married (and my wife was a good person, but couldn't deal with my depression after I lost a friend, my dad, and my dog in roughly a year's time it got very bad again.) I've fought a very long time to face the pain I've suffered.

I don't trust easily, and rarely entirely as I once did.

However, I want everyone safe. Should you feel I've acted improperly to you, block me, and I will accept that and not try and contact you. I want you to be safe and judge things on your own.

I may have lost my formerly good name with some people, and I may lose even more, but I'd rather you all have the option to decide for yourself.

Please be aware, that I will not reveal names publicly, because I'm not seeking retribution, just safety for others and hopefully peace for me. There is no legitimate way for me to prove my innocence, and no way to get any measure of justice from internet gossip and deception. All I can do is share my story, and hope that being the one to open about it will give others no ammunition to use to libel me.

Justice would be nice, but the safety of online places I enjoy and the people I do interact with is more important than that.

Thank you.
 
As per request, this thread is locked. The Pub wishes the best to Silverlion going through these troubles, and if any posters here have any concerns regarding this situation, they can contact the Mods directly.
 
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