Funniest GM or Player advice in a RPG

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AsenRG

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Only if you job is visiting people in their underground homes, stabbing them and taking all their belongings for your own benefit.
So underground murder hobos get paid for doing the job or electing not to do it? That smells fishy and makes me wonder where the money is coming from...:grin:

On topic: the Goblin Slayer RPG advises the players that "voices can become accidentally raised" during a session, so you should pick a venue where nobody would be bothered (like a karaoke booth). I can remember a few cases of voices getting high during sessions, indeed...:tongue:

Later the same book advises you to clean after yourselves, because if you leave a mess, you might not be allowed to use that venue any more:shade:.
 

Black Leaf

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More Kevisms.

There is a way out of this dilemma, if you like having your player characters bickering about the "true" appearance of a god. Just have the god appear in mortal form (as a humanoid, or an animal, or as a disembodied voice), saying something like, "I am she who you worship, I would not harm you, my good and faithful, by having you gaze upon my true form."

I like how the Gods of Palladium turn up randomly to tell PCs to stop having pointless arguments.
 

Black Leaf

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Honestly, I could just fill this thread with Kevisms and it would never get old for me.

Often in conversations among game players one will hear such phrases as " I got killed ", " I died ", " I chopped off its head ", " We wiped em out ", etc. This can be rather disturbing to the uninitiated, but, In most cases, these phrases refer to their characters' actions in the game and not their real lives.

Only 'most' cases? I'm not sure I want to know about the exceptions where "I chopped off its head" isn't talking about the game.
 

Dyrnwyn

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Sometimes warning messages and disclaimers can veer into humor too. Again, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally.

For example, to pick on Kev again, I get a kick out of the big "Warning! Violence and the Supernatural" message right inside the cover of his books. If I'm 13 years old, that's just going to make me want to buy it more.
 

Jetstream

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Brock has been banned for making me picture John Wick's orgasm face.
Shhhh, shhh. Just let it happen. Let Keanu take care of you.
Hah. No. The very next time I saw her she was something like 19. It was a gaming session where the weather being nice, I had the quixotic notion of having it at a local beach. Her parents still were players in my campaign, and brought Laurelin and two of her (male) friends along so they could enjoy the water. There's no 19 year old born who'll do anything but cringe at one of her parents' geezer friends burbling along the lines of "I dandled you in my lap when you were a BAYBEE ..." in front of agemates. I try not to inflict things on teenagers that made me wince when older generations inflicted them on me! :closed:
But she’s not a teenager anymore!
 

Fenris-77

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Honestly, I could just fill this thread with Kevisms and it would never get old for me.



Only 'most' cases? I'm not sure I want to know about the exceptions where "I chopped off its head" isn't talking about the game.
Those brave and heady few for whom this might not just be talking about the game probably know better than to talk about their work in front of other people.
 

CRKrueger

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I met him in the early 90's when I was working at a game store. We didn't get along at all. I think he liked shocking people and being controversial back then. He went on a long rap about how cannibalism under certain conditions can be a good thing. I was young, still in the Marine Corps (Reserve), and high on testosterone so I was probably a dick too.
All-Star Games?
 

soltakss

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It is not advice, as such, but we played in a HeroQuest, in our RQ2 Glorantha days, which was completely over the top, but which resulted in us learning "The Secret of Fire".

We finished this completely over the top scenario, when the sage whispered to us "It's hot and it burns things!"

That was it, the end result of a massively over the top, super-dangerous HeroQuest.

The GM was nearly wetting himself with glee.

So, every NPC we encountered while that GM was running, was told the Secret of Fire. Also, we told the Player's PCs the Secret of Fire once per session, until he got completely fed up with it.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you The Secret of Fire: It's hot and it burns things.
 

AsenRG

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It is not advice, as such, but we played in a HeroQuest, in our RQ2 Glorantha days, which was completely over the top, but which resulted in us learning "The Secret of Fire".

We finished this completely over the top scenario, when the sage whispered to us "It's hot and it burns things!"

That was it, the end result of a massively over the top, super-dangerous HeroQuest.

The GM was nearly wetting himself with glee.

So, every NPC we encountered while that GM was running, was told the Secret of Fire. Also, we told the Player's PCs the Secret of Fire once per session, until he got completely fed up with it.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you The Secret of Fire: It's hot and it burns things.
You get a secret once, you can choose to divulge it...:thumbsup:
 
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