lol, sounds like you'd prefer metal minis - no assembly, just paint n play
Maybe it's just my tastes, but it seems anytime I'm interested in a metal miniature, they require assembly. That's probably because my preferences run towards large or vehicle figures (as well as older pieces).
Plus, I'd rather work with plastic minis. When assembling, they glue together more securely. Plus they're just ligher and easier to handle.
I'm definitely more of a board gamer. I just want to take the minis out and play. I have very little interest in painting, and assembly is mostly just a means to an end. Sometimes I can get into the model building part if the models are well done, but even then I just want to get things put together and get it over with.