Humans vs Monsters IC

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Why humans want gold? Is it tasty? Scorm asks
 
Terwilliger raises an eyebrow. He then considers giving the goblin an economics lesson but decides to wait on that.

My good Dwarf, as you no doubt know, wealth is more than hard currency. Especially for the less developed peoples who rely mostly on barter and raiding. The kingdom will not contribute cows, goods, or peasants any more than it will contribute coins. I'm sure you didn't intend it but that would mean that the kingdom is doing all the giving and the rest are not contributing anything. Let me see if I can find an equivalent situation.

Terwilliger drums his finger on his chin for a few seconds.

Suppose I pointed out to the trolls that Dwarves are as edible as cows or that their their underground halls would make swell lairs and cozy homes for goblins and would give them enough gold to buy all the cows they want? Then everyone would be taking from the Dwarves. That would hardly be fair, would it?

Instead, how about we establish borders or boundaries and each group can keep all the cows and wealth in their current borders and not take anything from their neighbors. Everyone would have their own things so it would be fair to all. From their, we can establish fostering programs to help the other groups come up to the kingdom's standards.
 
Scorm hears "Dwarves are as edible as cows" and begins eyeing the dwarf with hungry eyes. Then he realizes the humans will contribute nothing.

He starts grabbing big hocks of meat and exits the table heading towards the door.
 
Keedle misses the hungry goblin glance, as she is looking to the troll to see if he plans on following. Actually, a walk-out now might get things un-deadlocked and persuade the humans to budge. She slams her hands on the table with some force.

"Unacceptable! We come to negotiate with the slayers of our kin and they offer us insult, compare my people to a foodstuff, and imply our homeland is ripe for occupation! And we are called 'monsters'. We tried to do this your way."

She rises to her full, not-particularly-high height and strides out, following the goblin.
 
Scorm stops when he hears the dwarf raise her voice and listens. He waits for the dwarf to catch up.
"
If you don't like cows and I don't like gold maybe we can be friends?" He whispers to the dwarf.
 
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Well, this is not good at all.

"Wait wait wait!" Jonathan says frantically, getting up from his chair. "I assure you that Lord Terwilliger only remarked on the editability of Dwarfs in general terms and meant no disrespect by it! Come now, we are all reasonable indivuals here." As a career politician, he is able to say that with a straight face in spite of the abundance of evidence that it is a complete lie. "Surely we can reach some form of accomodation?"
 
With a swift nod of assent to Scorm, Keedle turns, braids swinging.

"An 'accommodation' where you get to take a bite out of me? You can try, laddie, but I don't think you'll like the result." She crosses her arms and stands as tall as she can, trying to look formidable.
 
Scorm smiles.
"What do you think of trolls?" he whispers in the dwarfs ear.
 
Thrump ponders the recent information.

Dwarves don't look as tasty as cows. Dwarves look stringy and gristly. Ooman's trying to trick trolls!

He waves his battle axe threateningly.
 
Moonstar nods at Keedle

Yes, an acceptable amount of village-pillaging would be worth devising. What we need is equality, every race having an equal chance at prospering. I for one. think the Festival of Equality and Tolerance is a wonderful idea!
 
Terwilliger raises his fist in the air and shakes is while smiling at the troll.

Yea! Right on. Great enthusiasm.
 
Keedle wishes she'd followed Thrump's example and ignored the diplomatic convention of leaving your weapons in the cloakroom. It seems Ter-whatever plump feather-hatted human doesn't realise how badly this is about to go for him if he doesn't stop waving his fist at a riled-up troll. This guy got the top diplomatic job... how?

[OOC - using Keedle's Deduction ability which lets me ask the GM a yes/no question. Question is: is Jonathan, in fact, the senior diplomat of the two of them?]
 
[OOC - using Keedle's Deduction ability which lets me ask the GM a yes/no question. Question is: is Jonathan, in fact, the senior diplomat of the two of them?]

OOC: No!
 
Of course. It's like the dwarf's opinion of humankind visibly drops as she figures this out.

She responds to Moonsparkle or whatever it was -
"Exactly. It's not equality to treat people the same if they're not on a level footing to begin with."
 
Scorm pulls a knife in response to Keedle's obvious joke about height. Pointing the knife at Keedle he says "That's it! I hear enough short jokes from Trolls I don't need this rat crap from you too!" He looks at the dwarf to see what reaction if any is given.
 
She'll think about the irony of a Dwarf being pulled up on making short jokes later, although Keedle is clearly concerned about the situation, being unarmed herself. Her hands go up to placate.

"You need to remember who's on your side, my green friend. If the 'monsters' start stabbing each other we will confirm the humans' low opinion of us and stymie all our plans. Also there might be fewer cows to eat."
 
Thrumps laughs heartily.

You're all short. And ugly.
 
Scorm ignores most of Keedle's comment but upon hearing 'fewer cows to eat' he regains something resembling composure and puts his knife away.
 
"I don't suppose anyone would care to make an actual demand or suggestion...?" Jonathan says in the tone of a man who is watching his career go down the drain right before his eyes.
 
"We want you to give us cows if you want us to stop taking them!" Scorm replies hastily.
 
Keedle shrugs as if to say, it could be worse, at least it's only cows.
 
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