I appreciate this place

[Tulpa Girl]

I believe that in this case you are technically incorrect. Technically correct of course being the third reason to stay at the Pub.

Unless Raleel is actually a hobbit...?

 

[Fenris-77]

Unless Raleel is actually a hobbit...?

Facts.

 

[Raleel]

Ahh, the Pub. Come for the gaming discussions, stay for the goose memes and cannibalism references!

You forgot the bestiality references too. We are upper crust for sure

 

[Raleel]

Unless Raleel is actually a hobbit...?

I’m a wizard. I arrive precisely when I intend to

 

[Urdlen's best boy]

I am shocked. I did not expect this kind of inappropriate behavior here.

The PUB accepts wizards? Really? These guys are always monkey pawing honest cannibals with their scam quests or trying to rip me off when I need a katana of hobbit decapitation +3

 

[thebigh]

But as soon as you ask a Wizard for help he just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Sorry. Vancian magic. I already used my spell slots for today."

 

[Urdlen's best boy]

Edit : noooooooooooo! released too soon! Sorry!
Terror of the Goat Child
A horror story set in Eastern Washington, Texas, Scotland, New Zealand or Belgium.
Me and my luck... Getting stranded in the middle of nowhere... Car won't work... Battery seems cooked... And there's this mist everywhere. Mist like you rarely see elsewhere. Thick. Humid. Cold. The kind you can feel humidifying your face...

Well... I guess I've got to find someone who has one... A phone, maybe... There's a fence here... Maybe... I'll follow... Eventually I'll reach somewhere... Right?

A dirt road... And a traffic sign... Ah... I'm somewhere now... Some sort of hamlet...

A house, with a blue door, and little red flowers on the window side... I knock... Nothing... I knock again... Noise... Something's going on in there... The door opens...

"What's yer buisness?" ... Burly local... With a rhinophyma like I've never seen... A mustache...
...
"My battery's cooked... Can I borrow your phone?"
...
"Ehr!"... "Enter but da nae be too nosy, stranger, an keep yer hands in yer pockets!"

Everything's green-grey... Very little of a sickly sepia light from one of these old lamps.... The stench!

It hits me immediately... Vile, animal stench and eons of dust. Permeating the place. There's some sort of living room... An old tv screen casting static... The kitchen. A phone on the wall, red. A table. A woman sat there. And a child. Neither pay attention to me. The woman displays a calm smile, but her expression is strange... She seems riveted to the child, but not really looking at it. Looking beyond. And the child is strange. Immobile, except for one restless leg. Hands under the table. Some strange gauze hidding the face, covering the skull.

"Tis me wife an me dog, an da nae be looking at them!"

"I, I, I apologize"... I will use the phone and get out of here....

I register the number, it's one of those machines with a rotating system. I take the phone. Nothing? And what is hidden under the gauze?

"Hahr hahr harhrrrrhh"

A laughter, and a bleating. I turn towards the man ready to ask a question but he lunges at me. The bleating comes from the child! The child is clapping both hands in excitement! I need to get out of here! I dart aside! The door! It's closed! He's barreling toward me! My pocket knife! Instinct takes over! We brawl! I stab him in the liver! Again! Again! And after what seems like hours of struggle his body goes limp... I cast him aside! I hear the Bleating! The keys! They're on him! The bleating is approaching! They're here! Not this key! The bleating! This one!

I burst forth and run. I run like I never ran, in the cold mist. No looking back!

I escaped. Never again will I drive in these parts.

 

[Self Saboteur]

It’s the goat boy Jerry. Goat boy!

 

[TristramEvans]

 

[Dr. Gnome]

Goat boy was my favorite.

 

[spittingimage]

I asked ChatGPT and it assures me that eating only the horse part of the centaur technically isn't cannibalism.