I hate geese. A free roaming thread.

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TristramEvans

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The nightmare is now a horrifying reality...

goose hydra.JPG

 

MattyHelms

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Back in the late eighties, Ted Nugent was lobbying local lawmakers to fund a bow hunting camp for inner-city kids. His argument? Get the kids off the streets and out of the gangs. From there, have the kids hunt Canada Geese, which were first exploding as a nuisance in the area at the time. Then feed the geese to the homeless.

All of the then current problems of suburban Chicago could have been solved in one fell swoop.
 

Bunch

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Back in the late eighties, Ted Nugent was lobbying local lawmakers to fund a bow hunting camp for inner-city kids. His argument? Get the kids off the streets and out of the gangs. From there, have the kids hunt Canada Geese, which were first exploding as a nuisance in the area at the time. Then feed the geese to the homeless.

All of the then current problems of suburban Chicago could have been solved in one fell swoop.
I support that program.
 

Agemegos

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Remember kids geese, much like rabbits are not cute. They are delicious.
I've never eaten goose. But I suppose that anything that could be displaced from its place as a festival poult by turkey must be pretty unappetising.

Also, I can confirm from experiment that a Labrador can be trained to say "boo" to a goose.
 

Fenris-77

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On the other hand you couldn't, in the case of various apocalypse scenarios, turn those turkeys into a savage band of killers to be set loose on wandering zombies/mutants/vagabonds/salespeople.
 

Fenris-77

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Sure, the occasional evil turkey must exist somewhere, but that doesn't really obviate my apocalypse geese idea. What are the chances you have a critical mass of evil turkeys when you need it? Pretty slim IMO. At least with geese you know they're all devil spawn.
 

TristramEvans

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Sure, the occasional evil turkey must exist somewhere, but that doesn't really obviate my apocalypse geese idea. What are the chances you have a critical mass of evil turkeys when you need it? Pretty slim IMO. At least with geese you know they're all devil spawn.

True, my experience with Turkeys is that on the whole, instead of a manifestation of Evil, they seemed to be a manifestation of concentrated Stupidity...
 

Fenris-77

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True, my experience with Turkeys is that on the whole, instead of a manifestation of Evil, they seemed to be a manifestation of concentrated Stupidity...
That sounds right, which puts me in mind to write some Turkey flavoured Stupidity spells or maybe potions. That idea of concentrated stupidity is pretty evocative.
 

Harl Quinn

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So, playing dead is not a valid escape tactic when it comes to geese. Sir, your sacrifice is duly noted and appreciated.


Better him than me.
Dovetailing from this brave but tragic experiment gone wrong, we have this poor bloke.



Probably the last we'll see of poor Matt. I hope the cats avenge him.
 

Lofgeornost

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To say a nice word for turkeys--something I thought I'd never write--in my limited experience the wild variety are not dumber than other birds. Its just the domestic ones that have been bred into imbecility.
 

Bunch

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To say a nice word for turkeys--something I thought I'd never write--in my limited experience the wild variety are not dumber than other birds. Its just the domestic ones that have been bred into imbecility.
Turkeys aren't the enemy. Say all the nice things you want about them.
 

Dyrnwyn

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I have a pair of barn swallows attempting to build a nest above my balcony, on a sprinkler head. Hopefully they will not get too territorial when I am out there relaxing or working on my small herb garden.
 

soltakss

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True, my experience with Turkeys is that on the whole, instead of a manifestation of Evil, they seemed to be a manifestation of concentrated Stupidity...
I knew someone whose parents ran a Turkey Farm. She said they were so stupid that, when it came to slaughtering time, they had a conveyer belt that ran up to a pair of counter-rotating wheels designed to snap the neck and pull the head off Turkeys. All the farm-workers needed to do was to lay the turkey down on the conveyer belt, with its neck stretched across the belt and it would happily watch the other turkeys getting their heads ripped off, wondering "Oh, that looks odd, I wonder what that is, it looks really strange and Urrrgh!"
 

spittingimage

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From Reddit:

My party we're camping in a barn and made friends with a goose. I allowed them to take the goose with them as a guard goose / emergency food.

In the process of dungeon crawling they find a gold bracer. The cuff was a soul bound item that would cause whoever wore it to randomly be possessed by a lich king. With the idea that the next quest would be removing it from the affected party member.

After thorough inspection the party discovered an evil aura surrounding the cuff.

So they put it on the goose, the theory was that since the goose was chaotic neutral it would balance out the evil of the bracer.

So now they had a chaotic neutral guard goose that would randomly be possessed by an neutral evil lich, take on the appearance of a zombie goose and cast random spells though a series of honks and hisses.
 
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