I hate geese. A free roaming thread.

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While the Canadians are busy being passive aggressive, and the Americans are busy being self-absorbed, the Liechtensteiners sinisterly watch from the shadows plotting their eventual rise to power.

Where do the Swedes come in? And is now when we reveal their connections with our Goose overlords?
 
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They don't smoke clove Djarums in New Jersey
They don't sing about the death of Lugosi
They don't burn Hot Topic down on Main Street
They like living right and being weebs

They don't make a party out of angsting
They like drinking Scotch and talkin' waifus
They don't let their eyes get dark and shadowed
Like the goth punks in Roanoke, Virginia do

And I'm in a real hurry to reach New Jersey
A place where even weebs can have a ball
We still do speed out on the Shore
And ninjutsu's still the biggest thrill of all

Leather coats are in style for my greaser fashion
Dyed hair and guyliner won't be seen
Gantz is still the roughest thing on my TV
And this boy's still an unabashed fudanshi

And I'm in a real hurry to reach New Jersey
A place where even weebs can have a ball
We still do speed out on the Shore
And ninjutsu's still the biggest thrill of all

In Asbury Park, New Jersey, USA

(also, fuck geese)

 
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All we need is for it to be legal to eradicate this menace. But they have a powerful special interest lobby in both Canada and the States.

I suspect they're involved in the drug trade somehow.
I have explained Ted Nugent's old plan for the Chicago area before, right?

Send inner city kids to his bow hunting camps to keep them out of gangs and off of drugs. Bring them back to hunt and kill the Canada geese infesting the suburbs. Feed the geese to the homeless.

Brilliant.
 
The article even points out what the Canadians are doing wrong

“The literature suggests unless there's a lethal aspect to harassment, unless they really have a strong fear that they're going to die or some of them are actually dying, then most harassment methods just don't seem to be very effective".

Now you have me wondering what is the political hierarchy of the geese? How are they organized?
The Goosetator on top, all the ordinary geese below, and everyone else is prey:grin:!
 
All we need is for it to be legal to eradicate this menace. But they have a powerful special interest lobby in both Canada and the States.

I suspect they're involved in the drug trade somehow.
Some places have conflicting laws. They were protected when they were a thousand times less common and some of those laws are still on the books in some places, like it being illegal to disturb their nests. There was a nest on campus on the projection over an outside door; the geese would attack anyone trying to use the door. It would have been an easy fix if not for laws.

The only problem with hunting them is they are often in downtown parks with buildings a hundred feet behind them.

Decades ago, some of the guys who worked at the airport with my dad were rough and tumble types from simple backgrounds. They would put bread or bait on a string and lure the geese close enough to hit them with bats - free meat.
 
Good news everyone! From my local paper:

This is fantastic for a couple reasons: 1) I have family that lives up in the Spokane/Coeur d'Alene area, so I know exactly where that park is, and 2) that article is just unintentionally(to them) funny. The person who said, "It doesn't matter, they'll just come back..." just sounds fatalistic.
 
I think you're all worried too much. I was once mobbed by a gang of geese as a small child. While the experience was deeply humiliating, they didn't actually inflict any significant damage. The front is all show.

Admittedly, these were domestic geese. I haven't yet plucked up the courage to call a Canada goose's bluff.

Yet.
 
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