I hate geese. A free roaming thread.

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While my old house didn't have a yard big enough for the winged menace, we did have a bit of a squirrel problem. In particular those little bastards would throw pine-cones at any living thing that passed through our back yard.
They would also specifically taunt out dog by sitting on the back fence and chittering madly just out of reach, while our dog would naturally bark furiously at them.
We eventually took a couple pot shots at them with a BB gun and that shut them up for the most part, although there are still a few bold little bastards that chuck a pine-cone or two at people.
 
While my old house didn't have a yard big enough for the winged menace, we did have a bit of a squirrel problem. In particular those little bastards would throw pine-cones at any living thing that passed through our back yard.
They would also specifically taunt out dog by sitting on the back fence and chittering madly just out of reach, while our dog would naturally bark furiously at them.
We eventually took a couple pot shots at them with a BB gun and that shut them up for the most part, although there are still a few bold little bastards that chuck a pine-cone or two at people.
I have a soft spot for squirrels. I know they're just rats with good marketing but seeing the power of effective marketing in action is something I admire.


My grandmother used to shoot the squirrels on her fence with a bb gun all the time. She swore they eventually learned to go down when they heard the pneumatic report of the bb gun. Eventually grandma was able to shoot and empty gun and have them fall off the fence.
 
Does this hatred extend to ducks?

Because if so, Alan Moore (of all people) has your back:


I once saw a duck steal a woman's wallet. I'm quite serious about this.

I was in the staff cafe at work and she was in the outside seating area. The duck was hanging around her feet, obviously hoping for some bread crumbs, and she didn't notice it. After a while it clearly got bored with waiting for food and started poking through her open handbag. It emerged with her wallet in its beak and waddled off, while she finished her meal and walked away in the other direction.
 
Here in Wales, we laugh at puny geese. Seagulls, North Atlantic herring gulls in particular, rule the roost here. One crapped on my car a few days ago and I honestly couldn't see our the windscreen and had to go to the jet wash.

And that's just the beginning.
 
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Remember the rule of meat: the cuter the animal, the better it tastes.

Good rule for mammals. Not so much for fish, arthropods or mollusks. It was a brave man, he who first ate an oyster. (Mark Twain)

I will refrain from opining on reptiles, though; never tasted turtle, alligator or snake.
 
Good rule for mammals. Not so much for fish, arthropods or mollusks. It was a brave man, he who first ate an oyster. (Mark Twain)

I will refrain from opining on reptiles, though; never tasted turtle, alligator or snake.
I've had crocodile, and that was quite nice, although expensive. Apparently giant tortoises were so delicious that the first batch captured from the Galapagos islands all got eaten.
 
Good rule for mammals. Not so much for fish, arthropods or mollusks. It was a brave man, he who first ate an oyster. (Mark Twain)

I will refrain from opining on reptiles, though; never tasted turtle, alligator or snake.

Well I don't eat anything with more than four legs so I couldn't comment on them. However, can confirm lamb is tastier than salmon, and if you disagree, you are bad and should feel bad. ;)
 
Well I don't eat anything with more than four legs so I couldn't comment on them. However, can confirm lamb is tastier than salmon, and if you disagree, you are bad and should feel bad. ;)
You either had very good lamb or very bad salmon. I love me my salmon night!
 
It's merely pretext to get on Bunch Bunch's good side before hitting him up for a loan.

Step 1: Pretend to dislike geese and call them rude names.
Step 2: Bunch likes your post. Now you're on his radar.
Step 3: Send a private message to Bunch, playing up the "kindred spirits" angle.
Step 4: Bunch opens his heart and sends a "selfie" of Marc Singer holding ferrets in a still from The Beastmaster.
Step 5: Relate a hard luck story and hint that you need cash fast before things get even worse.
Step 6: Bunch sends a thick envelope full of cash.

Works for me every time!
 
It's merely pretext to get on Bunch Bunch's good side before hitting him up for a loan.

Step 1: Pretend to dislike geese and call them rude names.
Step 2: Bunch likes your post. Now you're on his radar.
Step 3: Send a private message to Bunch, playing up the "kindred spirits" angle.
Step 4: Bunch opens his heart and sends a "selfie" of Marc Singer holding ferrets in a still from The Beastmaster.
Step 5: Relate a hard luck story and hint that you need cash fast before things get even worse.
Step 6: Bunch sends a thick envelope full of cash.

Works for me every time!
6) hasn't worked on me in years. Too many friends who kept digging themselves into hard luck burned me out. Sucks but it is what it is.
 
So, I haven't read through the thread, but the title reminded me that a few year ago, while out for my morning run by the North Branch of the Chicago River, I was attacked by a goose! It flew up & repeatedly pecked me in back, really hard. It hurt! Never had a problem with geese before that, but I've been pretty un-fond of them ever since.
 
I punched a goose and kicked another. No, I'm not joking.

Shortly before we emigrated to NZ, we spent a few months renting on a small holding. I'd gone part-time to sort the move itself and spend more time with my son, Jamie, then barely a toddler after he had been in and out of hospital constantly.

Because I am outdoorsy, to build up Jamie's health, and to instill a love of nature in the little dude, we would go walking along the public tracks nearby, explore stands of forest, and walk along the shingle beach.

Now, there was a farm next to one of the tracks, and I think the farmer was a bit of a dick, because he kept geese in a small plot there. I think he also didn't like folks using the public track across "his" land, because I quickly found out that Farmer Dickhead would frequently leave the gate to the goose pen open "by accident".

On our first walk by, unsuspecting, Jamie had happily toddled about a dozen metres ahead of me, and a trio of enraged, territorial geese came racing out of the unsecured enclosure and began pecking and chasing the little guy. He panicked (he wasn't much bigger than the geese himself) and rather than run towards me, started crying and wailing while running further away! Also, he simply wasn't fast enough to really escape. I dashed down the track, scooped Jamie up under one arm, punched one goose in the head with my off-hand, and sent another flapping with a swift boot, before quickly escaping up the hill.

I hate geese and so does Jamie.
 
I punched a goose and kicked another. No, I'm not joking.

Shortly before we emigrated to NZ, we spent a few months renting on a small holding. I'd gone part-time to sort the move itself and spend more time with my son, Jamie, then barely a toddler after he had been in and out of hospital constantly.

Because I am outdoorsy, to build up Jamie's health, and to instill a love of nature in the little dude, we would go walking along the public tracks nearby, explore stands of forest, and walk along the shingle beach.

Now, there was a farm next to one of the tracks, and I think the farmer was a bit of a dick, because he kept geese in a small plot there. I think he also didn't like folks using the public track across "his" land, because I quickly found out that Farmer Dickhead would frequently leave the gate to the goose pen open "by accident".

On our first walk by, unsuspecting, Jamie had happily toddled about a dozen metres ahead of me, and a trio of enraged, territorial geese came racing out of the unsecured enclosure and began pecking and chasing the little guy. He panicked (he wasn't much bigger than the geese himself) and rather than run towards me, started crying and wailing while running further away! Also, he simply wasn't fast enough to really escape. I dashed down the track, scooped Jamie up under one arm, punched one goose in the head with my off-hand, and sent another flapping with a swift boot, before quickly escaping up the hill.

I hate geese and so does Jamie.
Let the hate flooow through you!
 
I now fully appreciate and understand Bunch Bunch and his hatred for geese.

Last night I was having one of those gay Final Fantasy XV dreams.

You know the ones I'm talking about, they're very hot and are a recurring dream of mine.

And then I was awakened by the squawking of barnyard geese. And I was pissed...

Turns out my brother was doing a hunting side mission for Red Dead Redemption 2 and there were no real-life geese involved at all, but that made me hate geese even more!

I could've still been enjoying my naked hot tub party with Noctis and Prompto if it weren't for those infernal polygonal waterfowl!
 
Last night I was having one of those gay Final Fantasy XV dreams.

You know the ones I'm talking about,

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