I hate geese. A free roaming thread.

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I think you're all worried too much. I was once mobbed by a gang of geese as a small child. While the experience was deeply humiliating, they didn't actually inflict any significant damage. The front is all show.

Admittedly, these were domestic geese. I haven't yet plucked up the courage to call a Canada goose's bluff.

Yet.
Just because you haven't discovered the trigger words they implanted, doesn't mean the trigger words aren't there.
 
Last week my Pathfinder character tried to short-circuit the "Oh no what's causing havoc at this poor farmer's farm?" scenario by suggesting to the farmer he needs a few flocks of geese. Watch the monsters run then, I told him. No need to be shelling out gold to adventurers if you've a farmyard full of geese!
 
Last week my Pathfinder character tried to short-circuit the "Oh no what's causing havoc at this poor farmer's farm?" scenario by suggesting to the farmer he needs a few flocks of geese. Watch the monsters run then, I told him. No need to be shelling out gold to adventurers if you've a farmyard full of geese!
It's all farm defence until the Geese sub-commander gets the communications array aligned, and the fleet of EGG ships crosses interstellar space to help establish their F-BOO.
 
Last week my Pathfinder character tried to short-circuit the "Oh no what's causing havoc at this poor farmer's farm?" scenario by suggesting to the farmer he needs a few flocks of geese. Watch the monsters run then, I told him. No need to be shelling out gold to adventurers if you've a farmyard full of geese!
When you have a few geese you have a goose problem. When you have several flocks they have a human problem.
 
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Tremble and despair, for I am Power!
 
It's all fun and games until you have to resurrect a Neanderthal warlord, using Shamanic magic, to once again save Earth from Invasion.
 
Trained attack tigers, for self defense or hunting, are not legal in my muni. I checked. Because geese. Weirdly it seems to be the "tiger" but they whine about because when I mentioned trained attack geese they were ok with it.

But I'll get my revenge. Lure a bunch of geese to the mayor's house and let them turn his yard and driveway into "it's illegal to harass or move the open sewer being created on your front step".
 
I hit a goose square in the back with an ice cube the other day. It was pooping on the lawn and acting like it owned the place. I didn't hurt it but it got the idea to move along. I like that most of the times the geese now move in as soon as I step out in my deck.

But I'm screwed when the revolution comes.
 
I had the weirdest damn dream last night... my friend who runs our Champions game was doing it as a LARP and I was given a pregen character by the name of 'Hitler Bird'. My sole power was that no matter what I did or said, people were psychically convinced that I was a goose. My principle attack was crotch-kicking. They never saw it coming.

I remember performing an autopsy on a burrito at one point.
 
Geese don't fear much but it's hatchling season and the bald eagles are looking to get some vengeance on the Canadian horror monsters!
 
I had the weirdest damn dream last night... my friend who runs our Champions game was doing it as a LARP and I was given a pregen character by the name of 'Hitler Bird'. My sole power was that no matter what I did or said, people were psychically convinced that I was a goose. My principle attack was crotch-kicking. They never saw it coming.

I remember performing an autopsy on a burrito at one point.

That is just...like...fantastic! I love dreams that literally cause your brain to reboot trying to figure out what the hell *that* meant!
 
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