Nu-TSR suing WotC: Schadenfreude is back on the menu, boys!

Best Selling RPGs - Available Now @ DriveThruRPG.com

Black Leaf

We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
Moderator
Joined
Aug 20, 2017
Messages
3,966
Reaction score
10,183
I am trying to be fair in my judgements and not crap on everything they do but that introductory blurb for Dungeon Crawl the Board Game is truly cringe-inducing.
It feels like an ok first draft, not something you put out to the general public. (Also, I'm not sure that a blatant Dungeon! rip off is the best launch project).
 

Fenris-77

Small God of the Dozens
Joined
Jul 9, 2020
Messages
5,973
Reaction score
13,231
I'm going to semi-live stream this whole experience.

Thought one - this website is shit. It looks like it was made by a syphlitic toddler with fine motor control issues.
Thought two - the original dungeon hobby shop? What the buttery fuck?
Thought three - putting the phrase "preorder here" in the middle of the product description is some rank amateur bullshit.
Thought four - many other unique items eh? Don't be coy fuckers, tell me what I'm getting
Thought five - infamous as much as it is famous? Who writes this shit?
Thought six - smells go across my nose do they?
Thought seven - random capitalization is a sin punishable by death
Thought eight - "more darker"?! Seriously?!
Thought nine - I sit back smiling do I, fuckwit? Someone I don't know just told me I have business with another guy I don't know. I'm not smiling.
Thought ten - a large gold necklace shows his importance does it? Jesus, all the half-copper whores must be more than they looked...
Thought eleven - not Kidnaped! Anything but Kidnaped! If it were just a a kidnapping I might know what to do...
Thought twelve - of course I don't drink the fucking ale you twat. What a bungle.
Thought thirteen - I draw my sword out of instinct? Do I? What if I use an axe? Or, fucking worse, a rapier?!
Thought fourteen - "What dangers wait you?" The danger here is me putting out my eye with a ballpoint pen rather than read any more of this fucking drivel.
 

Endless Flight

Owns A Few Brain Cells
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
10,509
Reaction score
26,041
Wouldn’t you hate to be the guy that created and wrote the game Dungeon Crawl (as bad as it looks) only for E. Gary Gygax Jr. to get lead credit? What kind of a slap in the fucking face is that?
 

Gringnr

F-IN' JOKES, HOW DO THEY WORK?
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
3,716
Reaction score
7,290
I am trying to be fair in my judgements and not crap on everything they do but that introductory blurb for Dungeon Crawl the Board Game is truly cringe-inducing.
Nah, they're just leaning really hard into that old-school sensibility by writing it in the style of "The Eye of Argon".
 

Voros

Doomed Investigator
Joined
Sep 23, 2017
Messages
11,496
Reaction score
21,211
Wouldn’t you hate to be the guy that created and wrote the game Dungeon Crawl (as bad as it looks) only for E. Gary Gygax Jr. to get lead credit? What kind of a slap in the fucking face is that?

Kinda like when Gygax put his name on Oriental Adventures even though David Cook wrote 99.9% of it?

Maybe they are being true to TSR's roots!
 

Gabriel

Legendary Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2019
Messages
2,099
Reaction score
5,143
It feels like an ok first draft, not something you put out to the general public. (Also, I'm not sure that a blatant Dungeon! rip off is the best launch project).

It doesn't look much like Dungeon!. It looks like it owes more to Talisman. More than that, it looks like it owes more to something like Game of Life.
 

Endless Flight

Owns A Few Brain Cells
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
10,509
Reaction score
26,041
From the introduction to Dungeon Crawl…

A man walks up to the table, he has a leather apron on, his large smile is pleasant and inviting. He sets down a platter with meat, a barmaid sets down goblets and a pitcher full of ale. “Ah, welcome brave adventurers, I am Lonig the Inn owner, I am told to feed you with good food and drink, and to let you know. His Grace the Duke of Dark Home will be here in a moment to inform you all of your task.” He then smiles again, bows and walks away.

JRR Tolkien, eat your heart out!
 

Stumpydave

Legendary Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2019
Messages
449
Reaction score
1,097
I don't know... They've captured the vibe of a precocious 12 year old running his first ever self penned adventure. You can imagine the other players rolling eyes and doodling on their character sheets whilst waiting to roll some dice.
(But for a professional product... Oh dear.)
 

AsenRG

Legendary Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
9,507
Reaction score
10,340
Bad writing is bad writing even if you get all nostalgic 'cause you didn't write any better than this when you were writing your first dungeon at 12 yo (and I suspect most of you did write better:thumbsup:).
 

Ladybird

TRAHR
Joined
Aug 13, 2017
Messages
3,611
Reaction score
8,906
I get what they're going for! They want it to come across as old-school and simple and nothing too taxing; the sort of introduction you could see on a first-gen RPG product. Dungeons, baddies, applied violence, shiny things. Got it. Fine.

But... they've missed it. What they've wrote is just bad. Not "so bad it's good" in a funky retro sort of way. Not bad in a "this is the first time anyone has published an adventure so uh..." sort of way. It's just crap.
 

Black Leaf

We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
Moderator
Joined
Aug 20, 2017
Messages
3,966
Reaction score
10,183
I think part of the issue is that just shouting "old school dungeoncrawl" and expecting it to sell on those grounds feels like it completely ignores the existence of the OSR and all the games that have come out over the last 15 years or so. The Gygax name simply isn't going to beat out the large amount of superior competition out there.

(If people have some kind of weird nostalgia thing about TSR to indulge, Wonderfilled seem a much stronger bet for that niche).
 

Winterblight

Legendary Member
Joined
May 26, 2018
Messages
607
Reaction score
1,124
It feels like an ok first draft, not something you put out to the general public. (Also, I'm not sure that a blatant Dungeon! rip off is the best launch project).
My writing is far from perfect but I'm certain I wouldn't send that in as a first draft. Never mind an editor, just running it past a randomer in the street could have improved it no end.
 

EmperorNorton

Legendary Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2018
Messages
3,656
Reaction score
8,855
You know, jumping back to breakfast foods (you know, the thing most of us actually have fond thoughts about) and the whole thing of regional foods... I feel like everyone needs to experience Waffle House at least once.
 

Ladybird

TRAHR
Joined
Aug 13, 2017
Messages
3,611
Reaction score
8,906
I'm very basic, for a cooked breakfast I'm fond of something traditional like either beans on toast...
1642273586016.png
...or a sausage and black pudding roll. As I'm up in Scotland, haggis slices are also not exactly uncommon too, which I'm fond of.
 

Acmegamer

Legendary Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2021
Messages
1,118
Reaction score
2,514
Ladybird Ladybird I can't do it like that. At least not served like that. Once the bread is soggy I'm apt to throw up. I do like it if they keep them separate so that I can dip my toasted bread etc into though.
 

Bunch

E-Rocker is a goose.
Joined
Aug 16, 2017
Messages
11,058
Reaction score
20,226
Chicken fried steak with country gravy (white gravy w sausage), hashbrowns(plain potatoes thinly shredded w butter) and English muffin. And coffee. Haven't had that in 6eara but when it's done well I'm in heaven.
 

Ronin

Gentleman of Leisure
Joined
May 8, 2017
Messages
1,522
Reaction score
2,811
I prefer some High Life eggs & sausages

View attachment 40696
When I hear that I think of this,
MHL_beer.png

32850229-breakfast-of-link-sausage-and-scrambled-eggs-with-raisintoast.jpg

Which is also a pretty tasty breakfast
 

TristramEvans

The Right Hand of Doom
Moderator
Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
25,865
Reaction score
68,292
Miller beers. That's something I haven't seen in a long, long time.

Those scrambled eggs don't look right for some reason - like it's all one piece....
 

Gringnr

F-IN' JOKES, HOW DO THEY WORK?
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
3,716
Reaction score
7,290
Ladybird Ladybird I can't do it like that. At least not served like that. Once the bread is soggy I'm apt to throw up. I do like it if they keep them separate so that I can dip my toasted bread etc into though.
Soggy bread pisses me off, especially on hamburgers. That's why the best burger I ever ate was on a pretzel bread bun.
I prefer some High Life eggs & sausages

View attachment 40696
Not bad, but I'm more of an eggs benedict man myself.
 

Ladybird

TRAHR
Joined
Aug 13, 2017
Messages
3,611
Reaction score
8,906
When I hear that I think of this,
MHL_beer.png

32850229-breakfast-of-link-sausage-and-scrambled-eggs-with-raisintoast.jpg

Which is also a pretty tasty breakfast
Never had the beer with it, but sausage and scrambled egg is a classic for a damn good reason.
Ladybird Ladybird I can't do it like that. At least not served like that. Once the bread is soggy I'm apt to throw up. I do like it if they keep them separate so that I can dip my toasted bread etc into though.
Fair. For me it's very much comfort food - a treat every so often for breakfast, but something I can cook if I'm feeling unwell (It's easy and makes me happy).
 

Dammit Viktor

Legendary Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2017
Messages
1,330
Reaction score
2,875
I like beans on toast, but I use American-style beans... usually ranch beans with jalapeños.
 

Brock Savage

Cosmic Barbarian
Joined
Jun 17, 2019
Messages
3,359
Reaction score
8,321
I'm very basic, for a cooked breakfast I'm fond of something traditional like either beans on toast...
View attachment 40691
I am not being snarky but is this one of those nostalgia foods that are a legacy of scarcity or wartime privation? I tried this for the first time a couple months ago and was served a warmed up can of baked beans poured over toasted white bread.
 

TJS

Legendary Member
Joined
May 5, 2018
Messages
2,045
Reaction score
4,186
I am not being snarky but is this one of those nostalgia foods that are a legacy of scarcity or wartime privation? I tried this for the first time a couple months ago and was served a warmed up can of baked beans poured over toasted white bread.
Add some dried Thyme and it's a bit less bland.
 

Ladybird

TRAHR
Joined
Aug 13, 2017
Messages
3,611
Reaction score
8,906
I am not being snarky but is this one of those nostalgia foods that are a legacy of scarcity or wartime privation?
Kinda, yeah - beans were classified as an essential During The War. But it's the sort of thing that's stuck around because it's cheap (You can get a tin of baked beans for 30p or so, with toast and butter also being dirt cheap and something you probably have anyway), reasonably nutritious, quick and easy to cook (If you can toast toast and stir a pot, those are all the skills you need), and tastes fairly pleasant (UK baked beans being fairly sweet). It hits a lot of factors that other traditional lower-class foods don't.
I tried this for the first time a couple months ago and was served a warmed up can of baked beans poured over toasted white bread.
That's pretty much it, yeah.

That said, as TJS TJS points out, it's fairly easy to jazz it up a bit - some spices, some hot sauce, some cheese on the toast, sausages with beans - if you want to. It's a good base to work from.
 

Black Leaf

We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
Moderator
Joined
Aug 20, 2017
Messages
3,966
Reaction score
10,183
Kinda, yeah - beans were classified as an essential During The War. But it's the sort of thing that's stuck around because it's cheap (You can get a tin of baked beans for 30p or so, with toast and butter also being dirt cheap and something you probably have anyway), reasonably nutritious, quick and easy to cook (If you can toast toast and stir a pot, those are all the skills you need), and tastes fairly pleasant (UK baked beans being fairly sweet). It hits a lot of factors that other traditional lower-class foods don't.

Amusingly, they were originally marketed as a luxury product and sold at Fortnum & Mason.
 

Picaroon Jack

And the Brothers Slack
Joined
Jul 6, 2018
Messages
2,648
Reaction score
7,096
I would really like some breakfast food now. I also think this would be the perfect thread to discuss bitcoin. . .or even UFO sightings. :grin:

Which I have not had in a very long time.
 
Cthulhu Mythos - Available Now @ DriveThruRPG.com
Top