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Edgewise

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That's why I made her take care of the whole thing .. :O
When we first got the pool, I was pretty resistant, but my wife pushed hard. So I relented with the condition that I didn't have to do a-ny-thing. Then, as the finished touches were being put on the deck, I announced that we were finally getting a dog. There was a brief staredown, and with her ungodly bills clutched in my claw-like hand, I carried that day.

I asked her after a year with the dog: if someone was threatening to either take the dog or fill in the pool, which would you choose? Suffice to say, total moral victory was thus achieved by yours truly.

Well, except for the fact that I'm still paying off that hole in the backyard.
 

Ronnie Sanford

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Covid didn’t stop my wife from ordering a pool heater. Quite the contrary...she’s fixated on making our home as “resort-like” as she can achieve. I’m not at all into swimming pools but that thing makes a world of difference. It’s now the worlds most expensive hot tub. Hooray?
Have you got your power bill yet? Was it bad?
 

Edgewise

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Have you got your power bill yet? Was it bad?
It wasn't good, but it could have been worse - I exaggerate a little. We went with a heat-exchanger type of heater, which takes a long time to do the job, but costs a lot less than a propane heater, for instance. Of course, air conditioning is also kicking in at the same time, so I have to compare with last year's bills to figure out exactly how much this is bleeding costing me.
 

Séadna

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It wasn't good, but it could have been worse - I exaggerate a little. We went with a heat-exchanger type of heater, which takes a long time to do the job, but costs a lot less than a propane heater, for instance. Of course, air conditioning is also kicking in at the same time, so I have to compare with last year's bills to figure out exactly how much this is bleeding costing me.
i-find-your-lack-of-propane-disturbing.jpg
 

The Butcher

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Survived a kitchen remodel. Nothing too expensive or fancy, but it's much more functional now. It was NOT fun living without a kitchen for a while there. #firstworldproblems ...
Took a really nice hike on Monday. Well, it's debatable how much one can actually "hike" around here; northeast Illinois is pretty flat. So, I at least had a really nice walk in the woods, with minimal elevation change. Anyway, it was quite pleasant.
Covid didn’t stop my wife from ordering a pool heater. Quite the contrary...she’s fixated on making our home as “resort-like” as she can achieve. I’m not at all into swimming pools but that thing makes a world of difference. It’s now the worlds most expensive hot tub. Hooray?

These messages are resonating with me because I have always lived in an apartment, which really is the rule if you live in a metropolis in much of Latin America and Europe. And I am lucky enough to live near a large, safe and clean park in a city where parks are neither plentiful, and where they exist they aren’t always large, safe or clean.

I also belong to a club that’s got nothing on American country clubs but has a swimming pool, a restaurant that won’t blow your mind but offers great value, and plenty of space for a kid to run around.

So, enamored of urban conveniences as I am, I’ve never really felt the calling to own a proper house or to live closer to nature...

...until of course the clubs and parks and many urban conveniences closed because of the pandemic.
 

Bunch

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If
These messages are resonating with me because I have always lived in an apartment, which really is the rule if you live in a metropolis in much of Latin America and Europe. And I am lucky enough to live near a large, safe and clean park in a city where parks are neither plentiful, and where they exist they aren’t always large, safe or clean.

I also belong to a club that’s got nothing on American country clubs but has a swimming pool, a restaurant that won’t blow your mind but offers great value, and plenty of space for a kid to run around.

So, enamored of urban conveniences as I am, I’ve never really felt the calling to own a proper house or to live closer to nature...

...until of course the clubs and parks and many urban conveniences closed because of the pandemic.
If it helps our local country club is A) not anything as grand as the name might suggest. Tennis courts and a decent pool. No restaurant. B) Also closed.

We have a big house which I'm going to say was the best choice ever for this situation. It's a lot to clean but if you lower your standards it's doable.
 

Silverlion

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Congrats Ladybird! Sorry I'm so behind on stuff! But that's awesome!
Sorry for your loss OHT, that hurts a lot, losing any pet. It sucks.

Lost one last year (Tesla) and doing my best to keep my almost 11-year-old Tetris well (serious UTI, and her breed an Akbash has 10-12 years normal lifespan, BUT she's smaller than average so I'm hoping her size difference will give her a few more years or outright grumpiness.)

It's sad because she's the one dog, I didn't choose, my ex-wife did, and poor Tetris has been a bit of a pain with astraphobia and other things (arthritis very early, and more)--but I got left her, and I love her anyway, despite everything. It's hard for me to say no to a dog. Plus I worry because her symptoms are a lot like the ones my first Great Dane had before she passed, but her organs are good, she's just got a nasty e. coli. strain in her bladder. Third antibiotic set now, but more specific, and huge dosages. She doesn't like it at all. She begrudgingly took her other meds. These? Not so much.
 

Edgewise

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These messages are resonating with me because I have always lived in an apartment, which really is the rule if you live in a metropolis in much of Latin America and Europe.
This is actually my first house, and you may notice a theme with me, which is that my wife is the one who initiates all these purchases. I'm dreadfully stereotypical in the sense that I would probably end up living in a box if left to my own devices. It's nothing I'm proud of, but it is what it is. So I do defer to her instincts in matters domestic. But I make my own contributions - trust me, the dog was a major win. Of course, you may note that I didn't ask her what she would do if someone made her choose between the dog and me.
I also belong to a club that’s got nothing on American country clubs but has a swimming pool, a restaurant that won’t blow your mind but offers great value, and plenty of space for a kid to run around.
When I say that my wife strives for resort-hood, let it be known that we're far from it. We've got the pool, and the area we live in is really green and lovely this time of year. We planted a lot of flowers this year. That's about the extent of it.
So, enamored of urban conveniences as I am, I’ve never really felt the calling to own a proper house or to live closer to nature...
That reminds me of my visit last year to Guyana. I visited this guy who had a house practically in the middle of the jungle. Completely off the grid, solar batteries, water filtration and storage, etc. But it was amazing and had all the conveniences of city life. The dude built it himself and it was total quality. All those urban conveniences and in the middle of nature. One of the coolest houses I've been in (not literally, though).
 

Brock Savage

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I’m not at all into swimming pools but that thing makes a world of difference.
Damn you lucky bastard, swimming is one of my favorite things to do and I can't go to the gym to get my fix.

Fuck, this whole Covid-19 thing has made me reconsider the wisdom of going to the gym because even the classy ones are filthy with germs.
 
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Edgewise

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Fuck, this whole Covid-19 thing has made me reconsider the wisdom of going to the gym even again because even the classy ones are filthy with germs.
Yeah, even the Olympic bar is nasty as hell. I've long wanted to setup a home gym but I don't quite have space for even the modest setup I have in mind: a real squatting cage on a decent mat for deadlifts and such, plus a good wheeled bench. But now I'm more motivated to find a way.
 

Brock Savage

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I've long wanted to setup a home gym
That would be living the dream but making the space is a motherfucker. At least you own a house! If I had like, two extra bedrooms one would be the gym/home office and the other would be for creativity/recreation. Moving to a rural state for cheap real estate has been a seductive dream for me lately.
 

Edgewise

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Albarn and co. are now occupying a place of honor on the throne, for all you ruld watchers.
 

Endless Flight

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I’m sitting in a parking lot waiting for my mother-in-law to get done with a pre-op consultation. My wife has end of month for work and is swamped. I volunteered to take her, like the dutiful son-in-law that I am.

Most of 2019 was a good year. Crazy busy but good. This 2020 can suck it. I’m already wishing it was over. Only a few things keep my sanity: my wife, my daughter, you guys, and my hobbies like my video games. I think back to when I had a doctors appointment about ten years ago and my doctor, intuitively, asked me if I had anxiety. I said yes and she asked me if I wanted “something” for that. I said no because I wanted to act like some tough guy who could handle it by doing self-help. I sometimes think I should go back when this all settles down. It runs in the family on my mom’s side, so this is one of those genetic gifts I got.

I think this heat might be getting to me!!:clown:
 

CRKrueger

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The one and only pet I've had during my life - bought when I was 4, has just died. Herman the tortoise was at least 45 and I've had to hand feed him for the last 2 years as his eyesight had been very poor. Sadly, he just didn't recover from hibernation this year and quietly expired bathing in the sun today. :sad:
Man, I’m sorry. I sympathize. When I was in 1st grade, we adopted the classroom tortoise that was getting so old the school wanted to get a home for him. I called him Gamera from the Kaiju movies. He loved sunbathing on our patio and lawn. He’d like to sit on my lap while I watched TV. He died the same way, he was sunbathing in the morning, I checked on him a little later and he was gone. He was the first pet I lost. I can’t imagine losing a pet I’ve lived my whole life with.
 

TristramEvans

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The one and only pet I've had during my life - bought when I was 4, has just died. Herman the tortoise was at least 45 and I've had to hand feed him for the last 2 years as his eyesight had been very poor. Sadly, he just didn't recover from hibernation this year and quietly expired bathing in the sun today. :sad:

I'm very sorry to hear that, I've never had a pet for so long, but I definitely know the sense of loss when one of them passes on. I suppose th ebest we can ever really do for them is make certain they had a good life for as long as they're with us, which it sounds like you did.
 
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Brock Savage

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OHT OHT I am sorry to hear that Herman passed; it sounds like he had a good life and died peacefully. It is probably little comfort to you now, only time really helps. I did not understand how the death of a long time animal companion can hurt as much as the loss of a human relative or friend until it happened to me. The moment I gave permission to euthanize my cat I felt like I had killed my best friend and was completely unprepared for the terrible grief that followed.
 

dbm

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Only a few things keep my sanity: my wife, my daughter, you guys, and my hobbies like my video games. I think back to when I had a doctors appointment about ten years ago and my doctor, intuitively, asked me if I had anxiety. I said yes and she asked me if I wanted “something” for that. I said no because I wanted to act like some tough guy who could handle it by doing self-help. I sometimes think I should go back when this all settles down.
Sorry to hear that. Mental health is really important and should be addressed with the same kind of acceptance that physical health is, too. If you had a broken leg, you wouldn’t just decide to go run a marathon (or even a trot down your road).
 

Gringnr

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I’m sitting in a parking lot waiting for my mother-in-law to get done with a pre-op consultation. My wife has end of month for work and is swamped. I volunteered to take her, like the dutiful son-in-law that I am.

Most of 2019 was a good year. Crazy busy but good. This 2020 can suck it. I’m already wishing it was over. Only a few things keep my sanity: my wife, my daughter, you guys, and my hobbies like my video games. I think back to when I had a doctors appointment about ten years ago and my doctor, intuitively, asked me if I had anxiety. I said yes and she asked me if I wanted “something” for that. I said no because I wanted to act like some tough guy who could handle it by doing self-help. I sometimes think I should go back when this all settles down. It runs in the family on my mom’s side, so this is one of those genetic gifts I got.

I think this heat might be getting to me!!:clown:


This acting tough thing is hard to shake. I have shared here that my wife has late stage cancer. I caught myself thinking the other day that our son would probably need professional help to deal with her likely passing at some point in the future. I thought about this for a bit, then it hit me: "Uh, you're going to need help too, dumbass."

I've never had to deal with anxiety, but I have friends who do. Best of luck to you, man.
 

Bunch

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I’m sitting in a parking lot waiting for my mother-in-law to get done with a pre-op consultation. My wife has end of month for work and is swamped. I volunteered to take her, like the dutiful son-in-law that I am.

Most of 2019 was a good year. Crazy busy but good. This 2020 can suck it. I’m already wishing it was over. Only a few things keep my sanity: my wife, my daughter, you guys, and my hobbies like my video games. I think back to when I had a doctors appointment about ten years ago and my doctor, intuitively, asked me if I had anxiety. I said yes and she asked me if I wanted “something” for that. I said no because I wanted to act like some tough guy who could handle it by doing self-help. I sometimes think I should go back when this all settles down. It runs in the family on my mom’s side, so this is one of those genetic gifts I got.

I think this heat might be getting to me!!:clown:
You can probably go back now virtually. Especially since you have seen that person in the past.

My brother has horrible anxiety at times. It sucks.
 

Endless Flight

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I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder when I went through my divorce with my first wife in 2001. It was a crazy time in my life. I had it so bad it caused my hands and feet to feel like pin cushions 24/7. Like that feeling you get when your foot falls asleep and is just starting to wake up. I had that all the time. It was unbearable so I went to see my doctor. I don’t know if this is true or not, but I think once you go through an anxiety attack for the first time you are never the same again as far as brain chemistry goes. I took xanax for a couple months and stopped. The pain went away but the funny thing was I could get it to come back at will if I thought about it and it would come back for a couple seconds and go away.
 

3rik

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I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder when I went through my divorce with my first wife in 2001. It was a crazy time in my life. I had it so bad it caused my hands and feet to feel like pin cushions 24/7. Like that feeling you get when your foot falls asleep and is just starting to wake up. I had that all the time. It was unbearable so I went to see my doctor. I don’t know if this is true or not, but I think once you go through an anxiety attack for the first time you are never the same again as far as brain chemistry goes. I took xanax for a couple months and stopped. The pain went away but the funny thing was I could get it to come back at will if I thought about it and it would come back for a couple seconds and go away.
My relatively mild social anxiety skyrocketed through the roof during my PTSD. I am much improved now but I am not sure I'll ever really be the same.

Addendum: It doesn't help either that I got PTSD from workplace harassment/bullying, which is not exactly something people tend to be understanding of, so there's very little point in trying to explain it to most people.

Anyway, what I meant to say is, I have similar experience after reaching an anxiety peak.
 
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Brock Savage

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I said no because I wanted to act like some tough guy who could handle it by doing self-help.
Hey Endless Flight Endless Flight I am sorry to see you going through this and hope you make some time to consult a professional. Trust me, I get the whole tough guy thing. From early childhood it is drilled into our heads not to show feelings, complain, or ask for help because it is a sign of weakness and people wont respect you. I have been bitten in the ass by this more than I care to admit but it is difficult to undo a lifetime of conditioning. That said even tough guys need help once in a while and it doesn't make them a sissy or weakling. Three of the most bad-ass men I know (one of which is my father and the other two are close friends of 20+ years) have all sought professional help at a critical junction in their lives to get thru some shit. Anyway man hang loose, you will get through this, we are all rooting for you.
 

Toadmaster

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This acting tough thing is hard to shake. I have shared here that my wife has late stage cancer. I caught myself thinking the other day that our son would probably need professional help to deal with her likely passing at some point in the future. I thought about this for a bit, then it hit me: "Uh, you're going to need help too, dumbass."

I've never had to deal with anxiety, but I have friends who do. Best of luck to you, man.

You can be tough, but it the stress will eventually will get you.

I had to become my mothers conservator for the last 2 years of her life from 2016-2018. She could not recognize my brother or I for the last 18 months. It was threatening my job, my marriage, my health.

I've worked in emergency services since 1992 and have a very supportive wife so I thought I had this stress thing dialed. By early 2017 I was having anxiety attacks although I didn't know that was what they were. They would start with any exertion (I was a firefighter, so not good), and progressed to where just watching an exciting or scary movie would set them off. I finally went to the doctor (I can be stubborn and dumb) and they explained what was going on, and were able to give me some mental and breathing exercises to help control them when they occured. Work let me transfer from my job as an engine captain, to dispatch. I was eligible for retirement at the end of 2017 and I took it. I am so thankful to the Dispatch Manager who took me in as that gave me some much needed stability it has also given me some part time post retirement work.

My mother passed in September 2018, but that wasn't the end of things, there was at least 6 months of dealing with her estate (so happy it is just my brother and I and we are on good terms, no will so that could have been another nightmare). I'm still emptying storage units of her stuff, but by the end of 2019 I was kind of back to normal. from the end of 2017 to early 2019 I wasn't sure if I'd still be married, my wife did a lot to help so the stress was getting her as well and we were not getting along well.

My youngest was born in 2013, and I think he is the only reason I'm still here. Little kids and dogs are so great at just accepting you and letting you know they want you to stick around.


That got longer than I intended, :tongue: get some help, you are going to need it., and better to get it early.
 

Gringnr

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You can be tough, but it the stress will eventually will get you.

I had to become my mothers conservator for the last 2 years of her life from 2016-2018. She could not recognize my brother or I for the last 18 months. It was threatening my job, my marriage, my health.

I've worked in emergency services since 1992 and have a very supportive wife so I thought I had this stress thing dialed. By early 2017 I was having anxiety attacks although I didn't know that was what they were. They would start with any exertion (I was a firefighter, so not good), and progressed to where just watching an exciting or scary movie would set them off. I finally went to the doctor (I can be stubborn and dumb) and they explained what was going on, and were able to give me some mental and breathing exercises to help control them when they occured. Work let me transfer from my job as an engine captain, to dispatch. I was eligible for retirement at the end of 2017 and I took it. I am so thankful to the Dispatch Manager who took me in as that gave me some much needed stability it has also given me some part time post retirement work.

My mother passed in September 2018, but that wasn't the end of things, there was at least 6 months of dealing with her estate (so happy it is just my brother and I and we are on good terms, no will so that could have been another nightmare). I'm still emptying storage units of her stuff, but by the end of 2019 I was kind of back to normal. from the end of 2017 to early 2019 I wasn't sure if I'd still be married, my wife did a lot to help so the stress was getting her as well and we were not getting along well.

My youngest was born in 2013, and I think he is the only reason I'm still here. Little kids and dogs are so great at just accepting you and letting you know they want you to stick around.


That got longer than I intended, :tongue: get some help, you are going to need it., and better to get it early.

Thank you so much for that advice. I'm glad things are working out for you (or, I hope they are). That's a lot to deal with.
 
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