Real Life and What's Happening...

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urbwar said:
You don't need actual snow plows or salt trucks. NYC, where I used to live, doesn't. They put plows on Sanitation trucks, and have salt dispensers they can attach to them. Plenty of trucks can be fitted with plows. Hell, people were using them last summer here to dig trenches to help slow down the wildfires.
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Again, all those things are still things that financially make no sense to have in locations that get snow once every few years.

Where I live, I literally didn't see snow once for like, 5-6 years.

(Also, you have to look at some other differences: NYC is highly highly populated. The amount of people per mile of road is astronomical. Where I grew up there were sections of road where there might be 1 family each mile, sometimes even less, and some areas are still dirt roads (trust me, try to salt or snow plow a dirt road). It's a completely different situation)
 
E-Rocker said:
My friends bought a house in Pennsylvania and are living there full-time, but they still have some time on their Chicago lease and still have some stuff in their apartment here, so I go by every once in a while to check their mail and water their plant. Last night, I managed to lock myself inside their apartment!

Locked the deadbolt when I came in, and when I went to leave, it would not budge at all! And I had inadvertently left my keys in the entryway which has a locked door to the street, so I couldn't go out the back door, because without my keys I wouldn't be able to get into my own apartment.

I called my friend to see if there was some trick to the lock, but she didn't have one and everything she suggested I had already tried. Then she suggested taking the lock apart and told me where to find a screwdriver, so I opened that drawer... and found it completely empty. No tools at all. Her BF had already brought them to Pennsylvania.

So she called her Chicago landlord, but he was out of town and wouldn't be back until this afternoon. So it was looking like I would have to spend the night, call in to work this morning for a Personal Day, and stay until the landlord could come let me out. Around this time, I got very conservative about using my phone because I didn't have a charger there.

Fortunately, I checked my messages one last time before I was going to go to sleep, because my friend had texted the suggestion of using a butter knife in place of a screwdriver. Tried that and.... it worked!!! Sweet, sweet freedom!!! Was able to disassemble the lock, let myself out, and reassemble it into a functional lock.

Their apartment is pretty nice and I don't mind hanging there by choice, but being unable to leave really sucked! And I didn't have stuff with me that I would have needed like daily medications, etc., because it was supposed to just be a quick stop.

So I'm really happy it turned out the way it did!
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That's one way to quarantine...
 
EmperorNorton said:
Again, all those things are still things that financially make no sense to have in locations that get snow once every few years.
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And I wasn't talking about places that get snow once every few years, so we appear to be having two different discussions

EmperorNorton said:
(Also, you have to look at some other differences: NYC is highly highly populated. The amount of people per mile of road is astronomical. Where I grew up there were sections of road where there might be 1 family each mile, sometimes even less, and some areas are still dirt roads (trust me, try to salt or snow plow a dirt road). It's a completely different situation)
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While Portland is smaller than NYC, road traffic is still high (because of the surrounding townships and Vancouver across the river), hence my saying they could (and should) do more about snowfall now that it's a yearly thing.

Where you live it might not make sense; where I live it does.
 
Nobby-W said:
How often does this happen, and was it an actual nutter with a weapon as opposed to someone just overreacting?
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Armed standoffs with the police happen once or twice a year here, sometimes more. It was an actual nutter with a weapon though, yeah, not sure if it was a knife or a gun though.
 
EmperorNorton said:
Another thing to consider with snow on the roads is that snow when the temp is going just above and below freezing over and over (like it does down here) partially melts then freezes then partially melts then freezes over and over and we don't get fluffy snow, we get slush and just thick sheets of ice.

If it is consistently below freezing it doesn't quite do that.
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Yea, driving on packed snow isn't so bad but if it melts and refreezes, it's super slick.

My current problem is that our neighborhood is rarely plowed and we've had 8+ inches this week and not enough traffic to pack it. My new car is too light to really dig in so floats along constantly at risk of getting stuck. Luckily, it's only ~100 yards of level road to plowed streets.
 
Our internet at work is theoretically down, but the Pub still works. What wizardry is this?!?!

Fer realz, I'm still getting post notifications on the Pub and am able to navigate the site, but any non-Pub pages I try to go to won't load. I guess this is how the universe wants me to spend my workday...
 
Alright, I need some advice. Recently I've had to deal with some people who are in constant conflict with myself, and I find myself lacking in skills to de-escalate the situations. Does anyone here have any experience with de-escalating conflicts?
 
Giganotosaurus said:
Alright, I need some advice. Recently I've had to deal with some people who are in constant conflict with myself, and I find myself lacking in skills to de-escalate the situations. Does anyone here have any experience with de-escalating conflicts?
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Are the people you're in conflict with reasonable? That would be the first thing to identify. The usual methods for de-escalation don't work if the other party is unreasonable.
 
chuckdee said:
Are the people you're in conflict with reasonable? That would be the first thing to identify. The usual methods for de-escalation don't work if the other party is unreasonable.
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In this case I would say no, but I'm still interested in hearing techniques for future reference.
 
Well, most of the techniques I have focus on yourself- assuming that others argue honestly.

The first thing is to realize that the conflict should not be avoided- it should be resolved in a constructive conversation. In that conversation, (a) avoid being Defensive, (b) avoid Overgeneralizations, (c) work to see the other side, (d) avoid placing blame, (e) focus on the facts of the situation rather than ascribing intent to the other party and/or attacking character, (f) avoid the need to be right, and (g)listen- don't stonewall.

To break it down a bit more and combine them a bit:

1. Listen to understand, not to respond. In many cases, the fact that what the others are saying may go against what you think is correct, what you perceive, or even what you think of yourself might make you overly sensitive, ready to immediately rebut their statements, or disengage. This focuses on points a, c, f, and g above.

2. Take a moment before you respond to process what has been said. You might need to table the conversation in order to do that, and that's fine- just let the person know that you've heard them, and you need a second to process what they've said and you will get back to them. But don't make that an overly long time. This goes towards point c above.

3. When you respond, use specific examples, instances, concentrate on communicating concisely and with objective, unbiased facts whenever possible. Try to keep it impersonal, no matter how personal it seems, with a focus on resolving the situation and making sure it doesn't happen again. This goes towards points b, d, and e above.

In the end, you want to directly address the problem, but you want to make the actual conversation non-confrontational, but more collaborative and make sure that everyone is heard, their concerns addressed, and most importantly, the underlying situation is resolved.
 
Stan said:
When people talk about roleplaying in bed, this isn't quite what they usually mean.
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I booked a long weekend off work to go to a RPG Convention and one of the salesmen asked me what I was doing. "Oh, it's a convention at a hotel, to do with roleplaying", I said. His little eyes lit up and then glazed over when I told him what it actually involved.


Mankcam said:
and the funny fellas think they have big farms, that's a source of amusement elsewhere heh heh :grin:
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A Texan went to visit his ancestral homeland in Ireland and stopped by a little farm owned by a distant relative. "How big is your farm?" he asked, "Of, 20 acres" the relative said. "What? On my ranch back in Texas I can ride around it on my horse, starting in the morning and still not get back to where I started from by nightfall", he said, proudly, "I know, I had a horse like that once" ...
 
Well, my wife was going to fly to Russia for a couple of months, but the Russian Government have put a ban on flights from the UK, as we are a plague-pit. So, her flights have been cancelled and will be refunded. She is pissed off about not being able to go and I am pissed off that I can't have 2 months of doing what I want.
 
soltakss said:
Well, my wife was going to fly to Russia for a couple of months, but the Russian Government have put a ban on flights from the UK, as we are a plague-pit. So, her flights have been cancelled and will be refunded. She is pissed off about not being able to go and I am pissed off that I can't have 2 months of doing what I want.
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I feel you buddy.
 
My federal tax return deposited this morning. Given it's mostly going towards bills, I'm only slightly elated to be flush with cash
 
I now have slightly less cat. The excised eye will be sent off for examination. Hopefully the cancer hasn't had a chance to spread.

We've put her in the garage and barricaded the entrances so the other cats will leave her be. She looks terrible and she's bumping into things because she's lost depth perception and gained a cone of shame. She's clearly in distress, but doesn't seem to be in pain. The vet said she won't need additional pain relief until tomorrow night.

It's been very hard on Spittingwife, because she has an eye stuff phobia. Our process is for her to hold the cat with her own eyes closed while I clean the stitches, but it's taking massive amounts of chocolate to make even that possible.

Hang in there, cat and woman...
 
Went to finally go pick up my glasses today (woo no more eyestrain headaches), only to find out the lab had made them wrong (booo), so I have to wait another 2 weeks to get my glasses.

(I have a weird specialty thing with my glasses, I get a tint on just my right eye, as I'm effectively blind on that side (I just see the presence or absence of light in total, and nothing else) but I'm very light sensitive in that eye. So it's understandable that it would get messed up, but still frustrating. The lab tinted both lenses instead of just one)
 
spittingimage said:
I now have slightly less cat. The excised eye will be sent off for examination. Hopefully the cancer hasn't had a chance to spread.

We've put her in the garage and barricaded the entrances so the other cats will leave her be. She looks terrible and she's bumping into things because she's lost depth perception and gained a cone of shame. She's clearly in distress, but doesn't seem to be in pain. The vet said she won't need additional pain relief until tomorrow night.

It's been very hard on Spittingwife, because she has an eye stuff phobia. Our process is for her to hold the cat with her own eyes closed while I clean the stitches, but it's taking massive amounts of chocolate to make even that possible.

Hang in there, cat and woman...
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Gotta love the ozone hole. My folks went through the whole cancer cat thing a few years ago.
 
Nobby-W said:
In unrelated news, got my COVID shot today. This was the Astra Zeneca vaccine and I'm due back in 12 weeks for a followup shot.

They were using the Masonic hall in Tunbridge Wells, but nobody seemed interested in funny handshakes. I have no idea why.
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I've found everybody is into funny handshakes these days, so funny that they tend to use elbow bumps, foot taps anything but their hands. :hehe:
 
Ronnie Sanford said:
Gosh that is sooo sad. I feel sorry for your cat (What is it's name)... However I hope you got rid of the cancer and that he will be better in the future.
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This too shall pass and it certainly beats losing my little buddy to aggressively metastasising cancer. Her name is Murphy. My wife tells people she's named after Murphy's Law, because cats get into everything, but she's actually named after an old RPG character.
Nobby-W said:
Gotta love the ozone hole. My folks went through the whole cancer cat thing a few years ago.
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Yup. I know a couple who had to have their cat's ears tipped for the same reason. It's not a good country to be a white cat in. Vets often recommend having light ears darkened so at least we can boast that kiwis are so tough that even our cats have tattoos.
 
The estranged spouse of one of my in laws (long story, justified leaving) is in a bad way in another country. Not enough money to have the heat on all day. My wife and I are looking to send them money, but they are being stubborn. Look, the choice of it to send money was already made. You are getting it. It’s your choice as to how and how fast you are getting it. Today or two days via fedex or gift card or what.

fucking pride. Let me goddamn help you.
 
Raleel said:
The estranged spouse of one of my in laws (long story, justified leaving) is in a bad way in another country. Not enough money to have the heat on all day. My wife and I are looking to send them money, but they are being stubborn. Look, the choice of it to send money was already made. You are getting it. It’s your choice as to how and how fast you are getting it. Today or two days via fedex or gift card or what.

fucking pride. Let me goddamn help you.
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I've had reasonable success with Western Union - their fees for internet transfers are much lower than in-person. My other half is a big fan of Transferwise, and used it to shuffle money between her accounts here and Indonesia. I just set up an account the other day and it seems to work quite well. It also works on mobile devices.

I also had trouble getting her to accept money the first time she needed help - for some physiotherapy IIRC. Keep on your friend and they will hopefully see the point.
 
yea, they are going to sleep on it. hopefully they will see the light. not being able to keep your heat on for more than a few hours a day is not a good situation
 
Cancer kitty is now home and shut in the garage to recuperate in peace. She's taking this much better than I expected. Bumping into things quite a bit while she adjusts to a world without depth perception. Accepting cuddles from Spittingwife and digging claws in to let her know that she (the cat) decides when affection time is over, not anyone else.
 
spittingimage said:
Cancer kitty is now home and shut in the garage to recuperate in peace. She's taking this much better than I expected. Bumping into things quite a bit while she adjusts to a world without depth perception. Accepting cuddles from Spittingwife and digging claws in to let her know that she (the cat) decides when affection time is over, not anyone else.
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I would like 2 belly rubs exactly, three and I will scratch and bite the shit out of you as per protocol.
 
Toadmaster said:
I would like 2 belly rubs exactly, three and I will scratch and bite the shit out of you as per protocol.
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Each rub shall be 12.4 seconds long proceeding in a downward direction from just below the chin to just above the embarrassing bits. Please see the manual for correct PPSI and suggestions for finger movements to accompany the downward motion. Failure will be met with severe consequences. Don't touch the paws.
 
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