Toys I'm glad I didn't have when I was a Kid

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3rik

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Some of the Adam Padilla stuff posted earlier in the thread I think are digital mockups. But as for the rest, yeah, these are all physical things that exist
That is... disturbing.
 

PolarBlues

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Yes, the Fantastic Four bag is an obvious fake. Clever, but clearly a fake.
 

JamesV

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Where Obvious Plant is concerned, they are real, but my impression was only one or a few are made
 

Gabriel

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So, this stuff is all real, right?

giphy.gif

If that was an actual question...

Most of it is real. This topic has featured a mix of toys so far.

Some are legitimately released toys, legally licensed and intended for sale to children. A good example which I'm not sure if it appeared earlier in the topic is the transforming Punisher figure which could turn into a gun

punisher.jpg

These are toys where someone just didn't think about things during the process. Things like Wolverine bop bags with the inflation nozzle in a suggestive spot. Or unfortunately named things like "Oreo Barbie". Or maybe just things with connotations like the official Batman licensed Catgirl Barbie, where Barbie is given bondage attire and a whip, so kids could have their very own Dominatrix Barbie.

These are real. They were sold in stores. Many were recalled.

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Then there are photoshop fakes. These aren't real and don't represent any sort of real item. Years ago, this item did the rounds in toy circles creating a lot of laugher. I may be wrong, but I recall that it was ultimately determined to be a photoshop hoax.

snugglers .png

Which legitimately made some people sad, because they really wanted that.

I imagine the Obvious Plant stuff is in this category, as I would think they are just package mock ups which someone takes pictures of for the humor.

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Then there are the bootlegs. Bootlegs range from remarkably good duplicates of existing branded toys, to random garbage with a slurry of stolen brands and Engrish text.

The anime scale collecting community has the legendary Sader bootleg figure. Sader is a bootleg of a figure of Saber from the Fate/Stay Night franchise.

sader.jpg

Surprisingly, Sader has even gained something of her own ironic following. People cosplay as the bootleg. You can even get variants:
rainbow.jpg

Ah! What a beautiful bootleg rainbow!

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That leads into the last category. Some are real, but not in the bootleg sense, more like the boutique sense. As mentioned above with Sader, some people get an ironic kick out of bootlegs. They revel in how OFF they are. Thus, some groups make custom toys that have just a little bit (or a lot) of intentional OFFNESS to them These range from things like Orbiton: The Man From Uranus up above, to Suckadelic's Gay Enterprise which I shared. These items are actually sold. They're limited to small runs. But they're purely collector's items not intended for children.
 

Nobby-W

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[ . . . ]
These are toys where someone just didn't think about things during the process. Things like Wolverine bop bags with the inflation nozzle in a suggestive spot. Or unfortunately named things like "Oreo Barbie". Or maybe just things with connotations like the official Batman licensed Catgirl Barbie, where Barbie is given bondage attire and a whip, so kids could have their very own Dominatrix Barbie.
"Mistress Barbie" is very much its own genre. People have been doing that since at least the 1990s and quite possibly earlier than that.
 

Gabriel

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"Mistress Barbie" is very much its own genre. People have been doing that since at least the 1990s that I'm aware of and quite possibly earlier than that.

True. But not as an official product.
 

Nobby-W

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True. But not as an official product.
Of course. It's always been kitbashed barbie dolls. I can't see Mattel releasing that as a product.
 
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The Butcher

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Oh dear. I wish,
Pretty funny if you consider what an absolute tear-jerker the movie is. But still, crippling disease and all.
That doctor kit makes perfect sense. The shotgun is clearly there to shoot geese. It's even has some goose practice targets. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't shooting at geese part of the Hippocratic oath?
Damn well should be.
 

PolarBlues

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What I don't get is the Bowling Pins. Also, that gun has both a revolving chamber and a pump action, and while I'm not an expert on guns, that seems a little superfluous.

Those aren't bowling pins, they are goose clubs.

And having both a revolving chamber and pump action only makes the shotgun more awesome. All it needs are pouches. Lots and lots of pouches.
 

Toadmaster

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Dominatrix Barbie

This so should be an official product. Everybody knows Ken is her sub, so it is well past time they come out in the open with that.

What I don't get is the Bowling Pins. Also, that gun has both a revolving chamber and a pump action, and while I'm not an expert on guns, that seems a little superfluous.

It would be unusual, but there have been revolving semi-auto and pump action guns. Webley Fosbury is probably the best known of the semi-auto (aka self cocking) revolvers. The Pancor Jackhammer (coolest shotgun that never was) was both semi-auto and pump action with a 10 round removable revolving cylinder.

I'm more concerned with the size of those suppositories. :shock:
 

TristramEvans

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Wow, Batman really let himself go after Robin died.


lol, back before Tim Burton was hired on to direct Batman '89, the project was originally pitched as a comedy with Jim Belushi set to star. Maybe that toy is from an alternate universe where that's the film that got made
 
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